"I trust your decision making skills".. only say it when you mean it!
In a lot of polarity teachings and Divine Feminine" teachings that exist today within the mindfulness/spiritual community we often hear that “the feminine has to surrender to the masculine and "lean into" their decision making skills.
I want to share why I only now feel that I can really say "I trust your decision making skills" to the person that I am with and in the past I felt big resistance to saying it..
disclaimer: I use the terms masculine & feminine energy - they are not necessarily synonymous for biological genders, we ALL carry masculine and feminine energy inside of us regardless of bio gender, in relationship however, one will always express 1 aspect more than the other, and individually we should strive to obtain a balance within ourselves before entering into a union regardless of your sexual preference.
Did it mean that I was not in my feminine energy?
No.. I was fully in my feminine energy by painting, channeling, being an oracle, tuning into my intuition..
So then why couldn’t I trust their masculine qualities?
Let’s dive into it..
I have heard quite a few coaches say "fake it till you make it", meaning, “force” yourself into this feminine energy by stepping back and forcing the other party to step up/into their masculine energy. And to ignore all inner red flags, and surrender to the person that you are with, when it’s a recipe for disaster in some cases..
In some cases this is wonderful and it can definitely bring out the inner masculine in your partner, but in essence, they are asking you to go outside of yourself and DO instead of BE.
When being in your feminine energy, is all about receiving, intuiting, fine-tuning, feeling, and sometimes you will FEEL the resistance and it's your inner compass telling you that this is not a safe masculine energy to surrender to and their decisionmaking should actually not be trusted. So I want to raise awareness on why I feel that this theory of "just surrender" is flawed. Because in some cases you are actually doing great, and you are already IN your feminine energy, the feminine is the one that receives all the data.. she knows.. So she also knows that when there’s a little voice of resistance that she CAN take charge and decide to follow her own inner compass..
The pitfalls of "Fake it till you make it".
Gaslighting yourself basically to trust, can lead to internal dissonance, self-doubt and damaging self-trust. True feminine energy thrives on authenticity, intuition, and receptivity. By pretending to trust when you don't, you are suppressing your intuitive signals, like I mentioned before, which are vital guides in relationships.
The importance of genuine trust.
Authentic trust in a partner's decision-making is foundational for a harmonious relationship. It's not about blind surrender but about feeling secure and aligned with your partner's choices. If you experience resistance or fear, it's crucial to honor those feelings. They may indicate that your inner wisdom perceives inconsistencies or potential issues in your partner's ability to lead effectively.
Only say it when you mean it!
"I trust your decision making skills"
Personal reflections…
My first long term relationship, meaning (+7 years in duration) when I was relatively young was with someone who was financially very stable and secure but they were emotionally unstable. So I trusted their financial decisionmaking but their emotional decisionmaking was horrible.
Whenever I agreed to any decisions about money I felt secure, but the emotional component was lacking so any financial decisions were not grounded and anchored into the heart.. so I STILL couldn’t really “mean it” when I would say that I trusted their decision making..
After that I was with someone who was gentle at first but quickly showed a very unstable erratic side of themselves, both emotionally and financially.
I found myself constantly wondering why I was doing everything on my own, because there was simply not even any attempt at decision making happening on their end..
After that I was with someone whom I wanted to trust a lot, but they were not trusting their own decision making, and entering into paralysis instead, therefore I felt like I couldn't fully trust them, and I always felt resistance and the need to micromanage and step in, and be the masculine. Because they were not interested in being the masculine energy, I later realized that they were more comfortable being the feminine energy in a relationship, and that was simply not gonna work for me..
Each time I tried telling them that I trusted their decision making skills I felt absolutely terrified because I did not see a solid foundation…
"I trust your decision making skills"
Only say it when you mean it!
Then I met my soul love and everything was taken out of my hands, any decisions, weight, mental clutter from having to “do it all” was simply taken away by this person. They approached me from a place of healthy masculine energy, from the moment they met me, and they did it from a place of Devotion. And this is the key word that was lacking in all other examples that I shared with you above: Devotion.
Not necessarily devotion to me, but devotion to God through the Self, and because we are all aligned union the devotion to God through the Self automatically becomes a devotion to God through Me. And you can be devoted to anything, but when I say devotion I mean Devotion through the heart in alignment with Mother/Father God.
When you are devoted through the heart, you MAKE good financial decisions because you let God lead…
When you are devoted through the heart, you MAKE good emotional decisions because you let God lead…
When you are devoted through the heart, you MAKE good life decisions because you let God lead…
So when I first heard myself say "I trust your decision making skills" and I felt absolutely no resistance or knot in my stomach, I did not feel like I was faking it.. That’s when I knew that we had accomplished a balanced polarity…
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Do some puzzle pieces fall into place for you now?
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